Asleep, I was dreaming I couldn’t breathe,
terrible pain in my belly above my knees
something pushing to get inside of me,
wanted to wake up go toilet to have a wee.
Pain in my private jarred me awake,I did a double take.
I screamed but no one heard.
He looked like a dog this complete stranger
A drooling, hunching, whimpering dog was my daddy.
Quiet now but my pain was really bad, like fire
vision blurred, suffocating, ears buzzing like a bee
chest was pounding, felt like vomiting
I cried in my tummy and no one heard.
He slapped me up, said to get up go clean the mess,
I dropped on the floor to put on my dress
Too pained to stand I went on all fours
Then saw the blood, wondered if I would bleed to death.
Daddy kissed my head and walked out the door.
I cried but no one heard
Sat for hours wondering why he’d punished me
Felt safe at last when mummy found me
said it was our secret to keep
gave me a bubble bath, made my favourite treat,
something for pain, my favourite nightie,
we hugged each other and went off to sleep.
I was in pain but I did not cry.
Monster daddy came in, called me his princess
who deserved Barbie dolls and Cinderella dresses.
Flowers and chocolates were some of mummy’s presents
they got all loved up in front of me.
A nightmare this, I looked in terror
at mummy for kissing and loving that monster.
I screamed in anguish but no one heard
She boxed my ears and slapped my face, screamed angrily
Called me ungrateful and difficult to please
When presents and Disneyland tickets were bought by daddy.
I wet myself, I pooed myself,
I screamed in terror but no one heard
I was an invisible child.
Written by Althea on behalf on another survivor, who wishes to remain anonymous
Copyright © Althea Butler 26 April 2017
All rights reserved
This poem may not be reproduced, transmitted or stored in a retrieval system in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher.