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Althea

Why mother why?

Why did you tell me and all sundry that from birth all I did was lie?
God made me, I am His child. Can a child be born to lie?
Why mother why?

Why did you not question the lie,
when you saw my lifeblood from my hymen torn and broken?
I was just a child, told to say I had fallen by the one who my innocence had stolen.
And that for you was my desire for whoredom!
Why mother, why?

Why did you say I was born hot, bad, wicked… the lot?
Did you not see it gave everyone licence to take a shot?
My body violated, abused, robbed of self- esteem,
I became the communal pot. Could you not have made it stop?
Why mother why?

Why did you not rescue me from my abusers?
Why did you become my chief accuser?
You called me a liar all my life, I had no childhood, all I had was strife,
I was a child with a broken shattered life, because I told a lie!
Can a child be born to tell a lie? Why mother why?

I wanted to die when at age 9, another one thought “No one would believe her if I make her mine!”
I was ravaged, molested, violated and raped! You blamed me again!!!
It was what I wanted you said!
Can a child desire to be molested, violated and raped by someone she trusted? Again?
Why mother why?

Why did you blame me for the problem, when I was the victim?
Could you not see my pain and suffering,
   when truth became lie and lie became truth in the mind of a damaged child?
You made my father punish me for misdeeds… he had no clue of the origin!!!
Why mother why?

As I fought to survive, barely alive on a trembly heartbeat,
I became a liar, thief, whore…real or imagined,
I wore whatever label you felt was deserving….
No love or support, all I felt was defeat.
Bye mother bye….

To become a tiger was my only recourse,
when caller a liar I shared many blows.
When I couldn’t share blows my tongue became a weapon,
Next story you told ….. I was born evil and possessed by a demon!
Bye, mother, bye….

God gave you me for protection,
why set me up for a life of destruction?
Why, mother, why……

Copyright © Althea Butler 25 March 2017
All rights reserved
This poem may not be reproduced, transmitted or stored in a retrieval system in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the author/publisher.